I Want to Write

Because I'm not quite sure how to write what I want to write today, I'm sharing a quote from one of my favorite books. 

“I don't have any regrets, really, except that one. I wanted to write about you, about us, really. Do you know what I mean? I wanted to write about everything, the life we're having and the lives we might have had. I wanted to write about all the ways we might have died.” 
- Michael Cunningham, The Hours

God helps those who help themselves

"God helps those who help themselves." - Benjamin Franklin

Did you know that's where that quote comes from? I didn't. But it sprang to mind this morning while I was catching up on the past season of Boardwalk Empire. During the last episode of the second season, a preacher shares a parable that goes something like this:

A man is given a chance to see both heaven and hell. He asks to see hell first. He enters hell and sees many people sitting around a large banquet table with a feast of food in front of them. However, all of the people are still hungry. Each person is holding a spoon with a handle so long that they cannot feed themselves. 

The man enters heaven next. He sees just as many people sitting around a large banquet table with a feast of food in front of them. Each person is holding the same type of spoon as the people in hell. However, nobody is hungry, because they are using the spoons to feed each other. 

So this leaves me wondering, was Benjamin Franklin right? Or, was the message that God helps those who help each other? Something to ponder in light of this recent news in the Huffington Post.

Ticks of the Tape

We interrupt this unemployment to bring you... a career. 18 months of leisure ended, just in time to miss the Blackhawks ticker tape parade. Impeccable timing, eh? 


This leads me to the question, why is it called a ticker tape parade? Well, there's only one reliable source for this information... Wikipedia. 


"Used ticker tape was cut into a form of confetti, to be thrown from the windows above parades, primarily in lowerManhattan; this became known as a ticker-tape parade. Ticker tape parades generally celebrated some significant event, such as the end of a World War, or the safe return of one of the early astronauts."


Are the Blackhawks astronauts? Or has the war ended? I don't know the answers to these questions, but I know that if the Cubs won the world series, a ticker tape parade would be held to celebrate Hell freezing over. 


So alas, I head to rest my eyes. Another great day lays ahead. A day marked by missed opportunities, uncomfortable 'professional' clothing, and theoretical theories being pounded into my head. 


Sleep well my friend.

Orientation

Today, I'm headed to the NU-TEACH Orientation at Northwestern! I'm a little excited and not quite sure what to expect. Right now, all I know is that I have some forms here that I have yet to complete. One of which is the immunization record. It looks like I'll be turning that one in a little later... after I go get a tetanus shot. Ugh!

The Counter

Enumerator, a.k.a. counter. I begin training Wednesday to learn how to tally the U.S. population correctly and accurately.

Tonight I received a phone call with my first assignment. My mission, shall I choose to accept it, is to go to homeless shelters and count the people.

I didn't have to take this assignment. In fact, all I would have needed to do was tell them I was unavailable from midnight to 7am. But I'm curious. Are the shelters exactly how I picture them in my mind? Will I only be counting people in shelters? How will we account for the homeless who refuse to stay in shelters? How do you ensure that they are not counted more than once, since the population each night can vary greatly? What ARE the demographics of the shelter?

While working with a team of other people for this assignment, I'll have the opportunity to feed my curiosity in a somewhat sheltered manner. Who knows what I will learn.

Underway is the only way?

As I looked out over Lake Michigan on the nearly moonless night, I marveled at the darkness on the horizon. It was then that I recalled a dream from the night before. I was underway again. I don't recall many details of the dream, but I wondered why, after all these years, I had my first dream of being underway. And why, at this instance, did it reenter my memory. 


I remember the quiet of being on the calm waters at night. Out on deck, I hear the steady hum of the engine, and the gentle slap of the waves against the bow. Looking across the horizon, I see darkness, only interrupted by the occasional sparkle of another ship's lights. The moonlight illuminates the ripples in front of us, while the microscopic creatures sparkle in our wake. 


Even when I suffered extreme bouts of seasickness, the ocean continued to offer a sense of calm. You can't bring your troubles from land to sea. What good would it do you? The result is a world composed only of the present. A stress free refuge. 


Am I more at home at sea than on land? 


I recall the dangers I feel on land at night. What's lurking behind the dark corners? And I remember the fear I felt as I stared straight down into the darkness of the waters below. 


What is it that caused this dream? Why did these memories return? Is underway the only way? 

Searching

I know I'm supposed to be helping people. Some people help monetarily, but I know in my heart I'm supposed to have a more hands on approach. This is what my job/career is meant to be. But the questions remain. What should I be doing? Where should I be? Where should I be going? How can I help people? How will I help people? I have the skills, the knowledge, the intuition and the desire... but which way do I go? I know that once I find the answers to these questions, so many other questions about my future will be answered. 

Direction

I can't remember where I was the other day when I heard a Michael W. Smith song. I initially began listening to the lyrics because I was surprised to hear the song being played in a secular establishment. But the words stuck with me. And they've continued to replay in my head each day since then. 

The wind is moving, but I am standing still

A life of pages, waiting to be filled

A heart that's hopeful, a heart that's full of dreams

But this becoming, is harder than it seems

I have so many talents and so much to give. It's just a struggle for me to figure out which way I need to go to fulfill my own dreams, while fulfilling the needs of others. I don't imagine that I am, or ever will be a 'nine-to-fiver'. Of course the answer isn't living in poverty, or running away to a small remote island either... although Tahiti does sound nice, doesn't it? 

Peace Corps?

I've been kicking this idea around in my brain for a while. I'm not exactly sure when I first requested an informational packet from the Peace Corps, but I know it was before I moved to Chicago. So, sometime prior to 2007.

A few months after moving to Chicago I went to my first information meeting with a coworker. Then a couple months later, I went on my own to another. By the end of 2007 I began filling out the online application. However, I still had some doubts about applying. 

Questions that I couldn't quite answer, or come to terms with, bounced around in my head. Can I handle the isolation of being a Peace Corps Volunteer? What about not dating anyone for 2 years? I'm getting older, do I want to postpone my romantic life for that long? I already got a late start in my career as a Landscape Architect, will a 2 year break ruin my chances of a reasonable retirement? Is joining the Peace Corps a cop-out on working and living in the real world?  

I've found answers to most of those questions. I'm not concerned about it hurting my dating, or career opportunities anymore. Fate will still follow me no matter where my life leads. It's also becoming more apparent that I want to run my own business and the Peace Corps experience can give me more experience, knowledge and confidence to help with this. So, it's not a cop-out on working/living in the real world at all. It is the real world. I'm so frustrated by how so many of us focus on our own success and blind ourselves to the realities of the rest of the world. I want time to consider the things that really matter and actually work and live in the real world. 

Now of course there are other questions... What if I get sent to Africa? A lot of heat and very little shade. Ugh! What about the isolation? Will I be able to complete the projects there that I need to? In this economy, will the application process be even more selective and can I even get accepted? 

I have a few other things to complete today, but maybe I'll restart that application soon.

3 Blogs 2 Many

I don't know if 3 blogs is too many, but I'm trying to keep my random thoughts, relating to different random topics, somewhat organized. I have 2 other blogs, although, I've only written in one of them. The other may, or may not receive it's first entry today. 

My most active blog follows my adventures in marathon training. Gabbi Runs

My other blog is supposed to follow my adventures as a designer. Designer At Large

And then there is this blog. A place where I can share my perspective on everything else in life. 

Me and the Icelandic Man

T + One

It's the beginning of a new year, so I've found a new way to keep in touch with people. Many of you may be familiar with my travelogues on the trekshare site, but this will hopefully provide me with an easier way to get my travel photos out to the masses. Check back occasionally and see what I've added.